We had a tough time at a family event. Niece’s birthday party. The difficulty started before we even left the house. Christian didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to swim. He didn’t want to party.

Brian tried to talk to him calmly. Christian’s panic left. For a second. Until I tried to slip his sandals on his feet. Panic returned.

So, I picked him up while he fought me with all of his might, grabbing onto each doorway as we made our way out to the car. We reassured him that he didn’t have to swim. He seemed OK as he started frantically typing out credits on his iPad again.

OK, until we pulled up to the house and parked the car. My heart sank. I knew that we were not in for an easy afternoon. Yet breathlessly prayed that things would calm down.

Unfortunately, they only escalated. We tried any calming measures that we could think of, but nothing seemed to help. Everything we tried actually seemed to make it worse.

At a loss, I resorted to leaving with Christian. Does our niece really want a screaming, crying, angry 7-old at her “happy” birthday party???


I walked out to the car with Christian and Brian came out to grab a bag of swimming stuff that we had packed. Christian was livid that we were leaving Brian and Olivia behind. He threw his iPad and sandals at me. He clawed and cried and screamed. I cranked up the music and drove.

(Thankfully we weren’t too far from home!)

Eventually, Christian realized that he could unbuckle (since Liv wasn’t in the backseat policing his every move). Since we have the child-proof locks activated in the backseat, he decided that his escape route would be the windows. He started to roll them down and tried to climb out while I was trying to get us home as quickly (and safely) as possible.  I grabbed his leg with one hand while I clung to the wheel with the other and prayed that no wild animal would dare cross our speeding path.

Christian fought me more as we pulled into the garage, not wanting the door to close, really proving that Brian and Liv would not be home with us.

But they want to party, I said. They are at the party and will be home when it is done.

So, we wrestled about the garage door remote. I wrestled him into the house. He continued to claw and scream and cry and kick for the next (at least) half-hour. I just wanted to cry.

Once I calmed down, I found myself wish that Christian could TELL me what has going on. Why he was so angry and sad and mad. Did he hurt? Is it the teeth that are trying to make their final push through his gums? Is it the full moon? The weather changes? Is it the tag on his shorts? His sore finger? A belly ache? Is it the smells of a different house? The sounds? The textures?

I just wish that I knew. I want to understand. I long for the words coming out of his mouth telling me what IT is.

Because how can I really help without understanding the root(s) of the issue at hand???


You may not realize what a HUGE deal this is, but Christian asked for a doctor on Monday evening.  On his own.  Using words.  And then proceeded to poke around at his neck and ears.


Not awesome that he wasn’t feeling well, but SO AWESOME that HE asked to go to the appropriate person who could help him even though he has been scared to go there in the past.  (He’s not a fan of shots.  Who can blame him?)

Tuesday, Christian and I went to the doctor.  (Yeah, Mamas apparently get strep, too. 😦  Yay for meds! )  He wasn’t overly happy about going when it was finally time for our appointment, but he came.  And listened fantastically well!  And anticipated what was going to happen next.  (Like when he saw the doctor with the “ear light” and he took off his headphones so that she could look before we even had to ask him, too! 😀 )  If I hadn’t been SO sick at the time, I would have totally happy danced right there in the examining room!!!  [Feel free to envision that. 😉 ]

And guess what, he needed antibiotics, and we opted for oral meds instead of the usual injection, and Christian is taking the meds amazingly.  [insert a look of happy shock here]  He just needs a chocolate chaser, but really, who doesn’t after taking liquid antibiotics???

I am SO proud of my boy.  Way to go, Christian!!! 🙂

I was driving the kids to Sunday School this morning and Olivia was doing her regular running monologue from the backseat.  Most days she talks about pretty random stuff, or is telling “Knock, Knock Jokes” or playing “I Spy.”  Today, though, her chattering took a different twist — I heard her say, “Some day we are going to go back to the swimming place.  The one with the slides.  And I will have fun.  And Daddy will be there.  And Mommy will be there.  And Christian will be there.  And he will play with me.  And he will talk using wordsUsing words, Mom…”

How great would that be?!?  🙂

Well, since my post yesterday, Christian’s communication has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride…

He came home from school yesterday and said, “Who’s hungry?” (in a game show announcer type of voice). 😉  I proceeded to cut him some of his favorite fruity treat — strawberries.  When he saw them on the table, his eyes lit up and he said (in a most excited voice), “STRAWBERRIES!  Yummy!”  Lovely!

And then communication kind of disappeared for a couple of hours, but later when questioned by a therapist if he was hungry, Christian replied, “Hungry!”  CS asked what he was hungry for and Christian answered, “Cheese Sandwich!”  Awesome! 🙂

We managed to cycle in and out of communication for the rest of the night, refusing to answer questions I asked, yet singing the “Dreidel Song” at the top of his lungs, to tantruming when he couldn’t push me down the stairs fast enough to assist him, to helping Brian pray his bedtime prayer.

Today has been a similar rollercoaster of communication.  Sometimes it is there.  Sometimes it is nowhere to be found.  We are cycling through the thrill of him telling us his needs/wants and the heartbreak of the ear-piecing scream when he doesn’t have the words to explain his frustrations.

I guess today isn’t that unusual of a communication day.  It just seems a little more pronounced…

So much for trying to “cure” my need for coffee.  I woke up crabby this morning.  I’m not sure why, but I just felt down right ornery.  I’m sure that it didn’t help that the kids got into 5 fighting matches within the first half-hour that we were awake.  That and I was a little scared as to how the morning would progress.  This was Christian’s first day back at school in SIX days.  (There was no school yesterday, then there was the weekend, and he was “sick” since Wed. last week.)  Six days off usually makes for a tough transition back.  I don’t want to sound negative, but I do want to be prepared (for battle).

I shouldn’t have worried, though, because it actually went pretty well.  With some wrestling, Christian got into his clothes.  He walked out to the bus by himself.  He even got on the bus by himself, even though there was a substitute driver today.  I would call this a BIG success for him (and me).  🙂

Brian actually came home in the middle of me getting Christian ready.  He’s not quite himself yet.  😦  My guess is that the kids & I were more violently ill, so we passed the yuck through our bodies more quickly.  Poor Brian has had this brewing since Saturday.  I hope that he feels better soon and that this day of rest (and the meds I picked up for him) will help!

Liv has been in a major “Diva mode” today.  Talking back.  Verbally arguing with me.  Requesting something and by the time she gets it, not wanting it anymore.  (sigh)  😦  But in the middle of all of her drama, as she watching a “Blue’s Clues” episode about Masterpieces, she walked into the kitchen and told me (with some attitude), “Mom, I’m a piece of work! “I thought to myself, “I can’t argue with that.”  Oh, she meant, “Masterpiece,” which she is, but today “piece of work” seemed just about right, too.  😉 

I’m just having one of those days, too, where I’m tired of being dragged around the house for Christian to bring me to what he wants.  Use your words, Buddy.  I know that they’re there!  Just use them, PLEASE!!!  I will get you what you want (well, within reason).  sigh.

And Christian’s come up with this new phrase for when he’s extremely frustrated OR overly excited — “A boom shocka boom.  A boom shocka boom.”  or “A blue soccer ball.  A blue soccer ball.”  Huh???  I’m not sure what exactly he’s saying.  Olivia was trying to tell me yesterday, but I couldn’t understand her “Olivian” either.  Hmm…I wonder how long this phrase will hang around?!?

OK, so this post is just some rambling, venting, “crabby me” stuff.  It’s the way my day seems to be.  Oh well.  I’m hoping that tomorrow isn’t SO crabby.  😉

Christian is four today! And I guess, appropriately, he got up at 4am. Brian was getting ready to go to work then, so we gave Christian his special birthday balloons (mylar Blue’s Clues & Nemo) and told him, “Happy Birthday!” To which Christian replied, “PARTY!” He has continued with that responce everytime that someone has said, “Happy Birthday, ” so far. He is so funny! I hope that our day continues to go as well. Since he was up so early this morning, I’m hoping that he will maybe nap this afternoon. (I’m hoping Olivia will, too.) I would like to clean up the living room area before Brian’s parents come over tonight. I know they don’t really care how messy our place is (they are very understanding that way), but I care that I don’t look like a slob!

Olivia’s been tantruming since leaving the doctor’s office this morning. (I had labwork done for my hypothyroidsim.) Just screaming and dropping. She’s sleeping now, so I don’t know if she was just tired yet, just being two, or if she has something more serious going on with her again. I hope she wakes in a better mood or we are going to have one LONG day!