Last week, Christian used his words to ask for “church.”  We were thrilled!  Ecstatic!  We rejoiced!

However, every day this week, right as his therapy sessions are finishing and we are sitting down to dinner he asks for “Car!  Church!”  Most days, I tell him that I need to finish my supper and by the time that I’m done he has moved on to other things.

Last night he asked again with tears streaming down his face.  “Car!  Church!”  Then he was demanding.  Then he started hitting.  “Car!!!  Church!!!”  Sigh.  It was breaking my heart. 

Part of the problem is that we don’t live near our church.  Our pastors don’t live next to the church.  It’s a lot of work on everyone’s part if we go up there and need someone else to come over and open up the doors for us every time.  Sigh. 

I’m also starting to wonder about the need to actually be at church.  While I hate to doubt my son’s want to be at God’s House, I’m also aware that he is quite smart.  Asking to go to church gets him out of the house, a ride in the car, Mom to himself, the church library stocked full of books,  serenity…  Perhaps these are the things that he is really looking for and not so much church itself.

So, last night after supper, while the tears still streamed down his face and he was throwing some weak punches in my direction, we broke out The Beginner’s Bible and read a story, said the Lord’s Prayer, and sang the Doxology.  He was pretty upset, but maybe this can become our new “church” routine for the evenings right after supper.  And maybe we can give him some space away from a (sometimes) bossy sister and lots of demands — giving him the peace that I’m suspecting he needs.

We’ll see how this works…