It is about 6:45pm. Brian and I are finally sitting down to eat supper (the kids had eaten before), Christian’s therapist is starting his notes about the day, and the kids are downstairs watching Fraggle Rock. All of the sudden, Christian marches up to the kitchen, tears in his eyes, walks over by me and says something that I totally don’t understand. I look at Brian. He shrugs. I look at CS. He shakes his head. I ask Christian to repeat himself. He does, but I’m still not sure what he said…but it sounded like “church.”
“Church???” I ask Christian. “Yes.” he says.
“Church?” I ask again. Thinking, “Really???” Again, he replies, “Yes.”
And my mind starts racing. My child, who doesn’t ask for much without many prompts, is now asking for church. Do I get up and take him, even though my husband just recently got home and we just started eating??? We ask Christian a few more times about “church” and he insists every time that this is his wish.
So, I wolf down my supper, convince Christian to get more dressed, find my phone, grab the phonebook, and head out the door. It is 7pm on a Thursday night.
My mind races as we make our 17 minute drive northward — I’m hoping that someone will be there working late. If I have to call a pastor to open the building, which one will I call? What will I do with Christian once we get there? Will Christian even want to go in? What will Christian want to do? Why does he want to be at church now? Etc.
We pull in the parking lot and find it empty. I was glad to have grabbed the phonebook. I ask Christian if he wants to go in. He says, “In. Yes.” pointing to the building. OK. I call up the pastor with children who are away from home. No one answers.
I ask Christian again if he really wants to go in. “In. Yes.” he says. Reluctantly, I call the pastor who has three small children at home and a wife who is ready to have another any day. He says that he’ll be there in five minutes.
I spend the next five minutes preparing myself for whatever might happen when Pastor K. arrives. (Thanks so much for coming over, Pastor!!!) He opens the door, makes sure that there isn’t anything else that we need, and leaves us there to do what we need to do. Believe me, I am curious.
First thing Christian does is to run to the “Child Training Room” where we always sit during church. Then he stands there peering through the windows into the sanctuary. And stands there. I’m not sure what to do, so I ask him if he wants to pray. He folds his hands and sits down on the pew.
I start, “Thank you, Jesus.” Christian continues, “We love you, Jesus. Amen.” Then I say The Lord’s Prayer and Christian joins in on the “Amen.” Not knowing what to do next, I start singing whatever comes to mind, “Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow,” “What a Friend We Have In Jesus,” and “Holy, Holy, Holy.” During the last one, Christian lets out an ear-piercing screech that he sustains for at least 20 seconds while he holds his hands over his ears.
I stop and just watch him.
When he is done screeching, he starts his “Christian dance” and his “happy screaming.” This goes on for what feels like an hour, but is probably just a couple of minutes. I just sit and watch. Perhaps this is Christian’s way to Shout to God with cries of joy (Ps 47:1).
When he is finished, he runs out of the room to find a Bible in the library and pages through it. And like that, he is done and ready to go. We hop in the car and make our way back home.
I like to question why Christian does what he does, but tonight it doesn’t really matter. For whatever reason, Christian needed to be at church. I was glad that I was the one who was able to take him to his Father’s House.
May 24, 2010 at 12:04 pm
wow, I would hope you don’t give in to everything like that, our special kids need structure and to jump at every whim I know would be a huge disruption of our family not to mention a huge strain on my marriage. It’s nice that he picked church and you were able to get in, but what happens if he wants to go to a store that is closed kind of thing then you have 3 times the battle and tantrum cause you gave in to him before. I know that with ours some things that he wants and doesn’t get we had to accept his tantrum and give him consequences for having a tantrum, and it’s really hard to work through those times cause we just want our guy to be happy, but it has helped us and him 10 fold. And the younger you go through those things the easier it is later and more beneficial for him later too.
May 24, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Dawn, you can rest assured that we don’t give into everything like that. My goodness. My son asked to go to church! He asked WITH HIS OWN WORDS to go to CHURCH. I have felt many times in my life that I just need to be at church. To have the peacefulness that comes with being in God’s House. Had he asked to go to the store, we would not have gone. Had we not found someone to let us in, I would have prayed/sang with him in the parking lot and come home. I was SO GLAD that we went. I am SO THANKFUL that Pastor K was available to let us in to the building. If he asks to go to church again, I will probably take him if I am able. If not, we will open our hymnal and Bibles at home and do what needs to be done here. But sometimes, really, there is NO SUBSTITUTE for being in our Father’s House!
May 27, 2010 at 9:02 am
I didn’t mean to offend or anything, and church is a good place along with faith. I was just hoping that it didn’t happen all the time with other things in his/your life too, otherwise later on things could be much harder to satisfy or try to undue the behavior that is all. My comment really didn’t have anything to do about church or your/his faith.
May 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Sorry, Dawn, I was a little touchy about that one. Unfortunately, asking for “church” has become a bit of an issue. I posted about it today — https://tiredmama.wordpress.com/2010/05/28/asking-again/
May 30, 2010 at 9:27 am
Not a problem, knowing exactly what to do is hard there are no manuals unfortunately, that is why we must all work together for the betterment of our kids, parents, therapists, doctors, teachers, and friends through follow through on treatment plans, teaching our children well, and supporting each other.