I’m emotionally exhausted tonight and in need of a good cleansing cry.  I’m thrilled that we made it home on the bus.  I’m thrilled that it wasn’t a fight all the way.  I’m thrilled that the tears stopped before we got home.  But I’m tired.  It was a struggle to force Christian into his seat.  Knowing just how terrified he was, part of me just wanted to scoop him up and run out of the bus to shield him from his fear, but I couldn’t.  If I did, when would he be exposed to what riding on the bus is actually like.  I would rather spend a month now preparing him for what bus-riding entails than trying to teach him this skill when he is a few years old and even more stronger.  (OK. So more stronger isn’t grammaticaly correct, but that’s how much stronger he will be in a few years!!!  I’m sure of it!)  I’m afraid if I don’t teach him now he will carry this irrational fear of buses into his future.  I believe that he can ride the bus by himself.  I just need to help him get to that point.  It’s an exhausting process, but I’m sure it will get better with time and as he learns to trust that the bus can get him home safely and that I will be there waiting for him.  I’m so proud of him.  I’m excited to try again tomorrow and see how much better it will go, but for now I’m going to collapse on my couch and take a night’s long nap…  🙂

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