I have reflected on our A-Day in the past. (Click here to review our 4 year anniversary and here to review our 5 year.) This year, I think that I’ll recount some things that I’ve learned along the way.

1. In the world of autism parents, there are two real and very distinct polarizing views. Those who believe that there is a “cure” for autism and those that think that the “cure autism” parents have fallen into the trance of a cult. I am neither.
2. We have tried biomedical intervention and have seen some improvements, but not enough to continue to pursue those ideas.
3. I did really hope (at the beginning) that Christian would be “cured” because his autism was the regressive type. I no longer want or need that for Christian.
4. Just because we no longer are looking for a “cure” doesn’t mean that we don’t want what is best for our son. We still spend countless hours with therapy and reading, researching, and trying new ideas.
5. Some of these ideas work wonders. Some don’t work at all. Some make things worse. Some make life a little bit easier. Some only last awhile. Some forever change our lives. We never know before we start which of these scenarios we will face.
6. A gluten and casein-free diet was a godsend for Christian for over 5-1/2 years. This summer we slowly started re-introducing these banned foods. Christian can tolerate most now. We are thankful that he is starting to take an interest in what we, as the rest of the family, are eating. He is now trying new foods without behavioral consequence. I am overwhelmedly relieved.
7. Some times you do need to use medication that you really wish you didn’t have to give your seven-year-old. Finding the right one at the right dosage can really turn a downward spiral into an upward one.
8. Dogs are amazing. Watching Christian learn to be a friend warms my heart. I love the smile on his face the moment that he sees his Pixar. It is priceless.
9. Technology is fantastic. It has given my formerly non-verbal son the gift of a voice before he had the verbal words to use. I am forever grateful. It is a window into the inner workings of his mind.
10. The love that others (therapists, teachers, bus drivers, neighbors, friends, volunteers, strangers, etc.) show my son will always make me teary-eyed. I will cry later when I think back on it when no one else is around.
11. Olivia is a great little (big) sister.
12. I can be a “Mama Bear” if I have to be. Watch out.
13. I do need to take care of my health. It is just as important as everyone else’s.
14. Sleep is precious. Yes, the name of this blog is still applicable.
15. The one and only thing that has held our family together over the last 6 years has been God. He has been our glue when we would have fallen apart physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. Every time I look at our two beautiful children the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 echos in my mind – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

However, Tuesday morning was disastrous. Epically disastrous. And pretty much, totally MY fault. I had overslept. When I did wake, I found myself scurrying to get Christian fed and fully dressed in under 5 minutes.

Suddenly, the kids realized that the bus was now sitting in our driveway. Panic ensued.

I shoved medicated toast in Christian’s hands while I attempted get his socks on his feet while he continually ran to the window to make sure that the bus was still there. And then the shoes…

…one shoe…

…Pooploops…

…the other shoe was NOwhere to be found.

The kids and I searched frantically for what seemed like forever. The bus waited. (Have I mentioned that I LOVE our driver and don’t know what I’ll do when the day comes that she is no longer Christian’s driver?!?)

We looked in EVERY conceivable place. ANY place where Christian’s shoes have hidden before. It was not there.

And then, there is was! Buried under Liv’s winter clothing pile. The lone shoe. I could NOT have been happier!

Christian and I worked teamwork magic to get that shoe on in record time. Awesome. Whew.

And then I opened the door.

My heart dropped through the floor.

The bus was g o n e.

My sweet boy was in tears. Completely and totally heartbroken. I felt like the worst mama in the world because I knew how important that bus ride was to getting back into our happy school year routine and I had blown it. Big time.

My mind started reeling as to how to “fix” it. Well, at least, the best fix that I could offer at the time.

I rushed both kids out the door. Dropped Liv off at her school, thankful for “before-school-care”. And rushed Christian across town to his school.

Yeah, I had this figured out. I would get him there soon enough that he could quickly get on his bus, if even just for a minute, before his teachers came out of the school. Maybe, just maybe, that would right the wrong that started off his first day back.

However, I hadn’t accounted for the driver having a new route. She got there later than usual. Christian did NOT have the chance to climb on his bus and sit in his seat for even a minute. His sadness was overwhelming. I handed him off to his capable teachers, as he cried and dropped and I felt incredibly small.

I waited eagerly to hear how Christian’s day had gone. I wondered and worried and prayed that it had turned around.

When his bus got home, I threw open his backpack looking for any sort of note about his day. This is what I read, “Rough day. Lots of tears.”

I felt horrible. Horrible that I could have made the difference in Christian’s entire day yesterday, but knowing that I had let him down. I vowed that I would make today better. SO MUCH more better. (I know. Not correct English, but I did feel that strongly about it.)

And today, well, today flowed smoothly. Christian was even standing in his coat and ready to go 15 minutes before his bus pulled in this morning. I was relieved. Greatly relieved. Perhaps today would move us smoothly back into our routine of school.

I still felt really bad for how yesterday had gone. I’m still disappointed in myself for letting that happen, but without that happening I would not have received this amazingly moving email from Christian’s teacher this morning. It read…

Last night I was thinking about Christian’s day and although he had a rough day I kept thinking of the positive things I saw.  I thought I would share them with you.

He could tell me exactly why he was upset and what he wanted – “No Bus”, “Mom come in the red car”, “Mom almost done”, “Mom no work”, “Olivia no school”, “No schedule”, “I do my worksheet then Mom come in the red car”,  “I want black blanket” (actually a black bean bag chair), “Go home later”, “Christian sad” “Christian mad”.  I thought it was good that he could express what he was feeling and what he wanted.

A social story about going back to school and work helped.

We used first/then and as long as we did only 1 thing at a time he did well.  He couldn’t handle the whole days schedule.

He really came out of his “funk” when it was free time. He wanted to play with the other kids.

Although he did some crying and at times wanted to be by himself, he did not hit or kick me.  He wanted a hug a few times (not sure if for pressure or for comfort but that doesn’t matter).

At the end of the day he started to cry about you coming to get him but he was easily redirected that it was bus or stay at school with me and not go home.

This is much different than how he would have handled it a year ago. I am glad his language skills have improved and he can tell us things better.  He is able to focus on things other than his obsessions.  He is less aggressive.  All things to celebrate, even on a rough day.

Progress. SO MUCH progress. I guess sometimes we need to have bad days just to see how much progress has been made. For that, I am thankful.

[general note for his whole CD classroom] It was a very fun day!! Everyone enjoyed the [roller]skating. I was amazed on how well everyone did. Our 5th grade buddies were there to help and made it even better. After lunch we had recess with our regular ed. classes then played games, had snacks, and watched movies. What a great day to celebrate our great kids and school. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Miss J

[personal note about Christian's day] Christian did awesome skating. He really enjoyed and LOTS of great talking. Watched Rio in 2nd grade and was able to stay the whole time!!! It was a great day. He should be tired tonight! Did great at recess with his 2nd grade class, too!

Happy Thanksgiving!! I am SO THANKFUL for days like these.

We have completed our end of the paperwork and Christian has had his labwork done (he was quite low on the d scale), so now we are waiting to hear back from the council so that we can get started. I’m pretty excited about this upcoming opportunity for Christian.

Here’s the initial email that got us started…

Vitamin D Council announces free clinic to treat vitamin D deficiency in children with autism

The Vitamin D Council is finally kicking its vitamin D clinic for children with autism into full swing this week. If you know of a child with autism, and the parents are willing to give adequate doses of vitamin D, the Vitamin D Council will help the parents with our new free vitamin D clinic for children with autism.

Studies show that many children with autism have low vitamin D levels and some parents have reported that some children appeared to show a treatment effect when vitamin D blood levels achieve high normal ranges. However, we do not promise any such treatment effect, only that an adequate dose of vitamin D will treat vitamin D deficiency. The entire goal of the clinic is to bring vitamin D levels up to the high normal range.

The clinic consists of free autism rating scales for parents and teachers, free vitamin D blood tests (up to $65.00 per test), free visits or phone calls with Dr. John Cannell, and, if needed, free vitamin D supplements.

I am curious to see where this takes us.

There has been LOTS of adjusting for ALL of us, but things are going well.

This is Christian's favorite picture of himself and Pixar. (This was taken on the first day that she visited us at our house.)

Christian and Pixar in public access training. Christian is starting to get the hang of holding onto a leash.

Pixar in her stylin' autism service dog vest and puzzle piece collar.

I haven’t written much about Pixar on our family blog, but she has a whole separate blog devoted to our journey in bringing her into our family. You can visit that blog at http://paws4christian.wordpress.com . We also have a Facebook page titled, “Paws 4 Christian”. It is an open group. Feel free to join if you’d like to continue to receive updates about our adventures with an autism service dog.

Here are some of the Lego creations adorning our living room right now…

"Boy, Moon, Scooby-Doo fishing pole with the Cat in the Hat hat, a cheese sandwich, watermelon, & toothbrush" (in other words, the Dreamworks logo with a few additions)

"Birthday Bird" from Dr. Seuss' Happy Birthday to You book

Little girl "Olivia" ballerina

Television with two penguins based on Helen Lester's "Tacky Goes To Camp"

Black toaster with Nick & Jr. based on old Nick Jr. logo

"Beware the Bear" from Helen Lester's "Tacky Goes To Camp"

Ballerina girl with red dress and the Pillsbury Doughboy (they like to dance together )

As we attended church on Sunday, Brian and I realized that he had a meeting to attend after the service. Unfortunately, we only had one car along, so he suggested that I take the kids for Happy Meals at McDonalds and come back to pick him up.

The idea sounded fantastic. Christian has been asking for “Happier Meals” lately, so I was thinking, No problem. I loaded up the kids and the dog in the car and started towards the Golden Arches.

I told the kids where we were headed. Both were excited. “Happier Meals” on the way! Yeehaw!

But then we came in full view of the McDonalds sign and Christian started to flip out in full force fashion. I tried my best to stay calm as I pulled into the drive-thru.

I ordered as Christian unbuckled and started to roll down the window. Not the best, but OK, we’ve done this before. You ask him to roll it back up, calm down, and everything will be fine.

As I waited to pull up to the first window to pay, Christian’s brilliant mind figured out that if he reached out his open window he could open his “child-locked” back door from the outside. You have GOT to be kidding me!!!

So I reached back and grabbed his ankle as he tried to slither out the door. I caught him just in time and gently forcefully pulled him back into the car. (I was NOT making friends with the drivers in the cars behind us!) Christian was fighting for his life (at least that’s what it felt like). He punched and kicked and screamed at me. Arms out the open car door. A fearful sister and service dog in the backseat with him. And this Mama, well, I was just trying to hold myself together, enough to get us through this crisis.

I asked Olivia to climb out Christian’s car door and close it while I pulled him back into the car the rest of the way. Liv climbed back in on her side. I was finally able to pull ahead to the first window to pay and the second to get our food. The whole time Christian was screaming and kicking and crying, fighting the one arm that I had thrust back to hold him tightly to the back of the front passenger seat.

My mind slipped into a survival mode of pleading prayer. Lord, keep us safe. Grant Christian peace. The only other thought in my head was that I had to get us back to the church parking lot.

We made it. T’was scary, but we made it. Christian was still lost in a world of panic, so I forced the shoes off his feet and pulled him into the front seat with me.

Slowly, Christian calmed. Olivia was happy to have the backseat safely to herself (and Pixar) while she worked on her Happy Meal. I carefully unwrapped a cheeseburger and gently slid it into Christian’s balled up fist.

He started eating. I felt his body relax and the tears stopped running down his rosy cheeks. Thank you, God, for helping us survive this storm.

Brian and I knew that something had to done. If Christian had been able to do this once, he would do it again. It would just be a matter of time. Our old-fashion window cranks would HAVE to come off.

Did you know they make such a tool as a “window crank remover”? Well, they do. For $5 you can buy one at your local auto supply store. I did. Monday afternoon the cranks came off the backseat windows. I feel much safer driving Christian in the car again.

I do have to say, though, that I am SO THANKFUL that this incident took place in a drive-thru. Yeah, I ticked some people off, but no one got hurt. Christian could have figured this out while we were stopped at an intersection or while we were driving down the highway! Who knows what would have happened then!

I feel blessed that we are all safe and that (for now) our car issues have been resolved.

We have been hearing some exciting things from Christian. It seems that he has made a friend with one of our [fifth grade] buddies. Several times now he has asked about Nick. He has asked, “Where is Nick?” “I be with Nick.” “Nick here.” and today “Bye, Nick, see you tomorrow.”
Reading sweep [reg. ed 2nd grade program] is going good, too. Our group is working on rhyming. He has to do some good listening to tell which of 3 words doesn’t rhyme. We have played games like memory and go fish. No behavior issues at all and some really nice listening.

I’m totally thrilled with these continued great news from school! Praying that it continues to go well even as the weather shifts from fall into winter.

Things are continuing to go well for Christian at school. We are still hearing very positive news about his days, even though Christian is currently working on cutting an evil tooth. (“Evil” since it has been working its way in for the last SIX months! I believe we are nearing the poke-through stage. Hooray!!!)

Yesterday, Brian and I met with his 10-person IEP team to build goals for the next 12 months of school. We have many new faces on the team this year, many whom we hadn’t met before, so I was nervous, yet excited for this meeting. His IEP team is amazing. Every one of them truly cares about Christian and longs to see him achieve. I feel SO BLESSED to have such loving people surrounding my special little man daily.

There was one fantastic moment that stands out in my mind from our meeting, though. A story that his teacher shared with the group…

They have been working on communication skills in his classroom, especially about how it is important to look other people in the eyes when talking with them. So, they had taken pictures of each of his classmate’s sets of eyes (9 total) and put them in a book. Christian correctly identified all 9 sets correctly (with no other facial features exposed). When asked to identify each of his classmates when given a full-body picture of the person, he only got 7 out of the 9 correct.

I was floored! Christian rarely looks at someone directly in their eyes unless prompted or he really, really wants something from them. But he knew all 9 of his classmates by their eyes only!

This is totally awesome to me! I can’t stop smiling when I think about this accomplishment!