While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she wrapped him in clothes and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherd said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.  –Luke 2:6-20

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. 

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.  The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.  He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.  Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, not of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.  –John 1:1-14

… Christian has a UTI.  A bad one and the start of an ear infection. 

He had his antibiotic shot.    But should be feeling better by Noon tomorrow.    Which is great because we have Christmas with Brian’s family tomorrow night.

Now to see what our weather does…

Hmm…is Christian sick?  That is the question this morning.

If I had to venture a guess, I would say he has a UTI.  Urgency.  Frequent trips to the bathroom without the ability to produce consistently.  Refusal to drink anything.  (Perhaps hurting when he pees?)  Hiding under the covers on his bed.  Wanting to snuggle instead of constantly running.  Feeling quite warm.  Etc.

Thankfully, I was able to schedule a doctor’s appointment for later in the day.  I hope that we will be able to find out what’s wrong before we leave the office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps she will be able to tell me, too, whether or not the ankle that has been bothering me for a week most likely has a stress fracture.  I’m pretty sure it is.  Bummer. 

My wonderful hubby found a red bucket hat at the dollar store last night! 

We were curious to see if Christian would accept it as it had a white lining on the inside that his former red hat did not have.

He was excited when he first saw it and then noticed the white on the inside.  Would that pass the test???  After looking it over for a minute, he plopped it on his head and ran back to his letters with a HUGE smile on his face!

Hurray! 

Now every time he passes a mirror he has to stop and look at his handsome self and his Red Hat. 

Last night, I woke at 3:30am and could NOT get back to sleep.  The more I tried to sleep, the more I couldn’t, so I decided to just get up, catch up on the news, read the ads, and chill on the couch.  I was hoping to be lulled back to sleep by the quiet of the house and the boredom of the news repeating every 1/2-hour.  It didn’t work.

I think that Christian’s anxiety over the coming break from routine is making me anxious — making me wonder if we will battle more and/or different issues than what we had last Christmas break.  We have a HUGE snowstorm predicted to slam into the state on Christmas Eve into Day which makes me wonder how our sleep will be affected because of the drastic change in weather.  Brian has a minor surgery, yet still surgery, coming up and I wonder how much pain he will be in afterwards and how much help he will need and how I will be able to balance his needs with the needs of both of the kids (as Christian’s break will still be going on)…

(The one part of his surgery day that I am really looking forward to is the 4-7 hours that I will have to spend at the hospital where I am in charge of absolutely no one else!  I will not be interrupted by a hundred questions a minute every minute for an hour.  I will not have to wipe anyone’s behind or nose (unless it’s my own).  I will not have to listen to the endless tantrum of a toddler bent on wearing a bathing suit (only) out in the snow.  …  Those hours will be a tiny sliver of the respite that I SO DESPARATELY need!!!  I am SO looking forward to that!  )

Anyway, I guess my mind is just racing.  Filled with SO much uncertainly at the moment.  Having a hard time focusing on the celebration of Christmas that is at hand.  I’m exhausted.  On the verge of tears.  Spent.  Having a hard time holding myself together.

Thankful, so very thankful, that I’m not the one in control of this crazy thing call life. 

Dear Lord, help me cast all of my anxieties on you…

On Sunday, we survived had a lovely Christmas with my family.  It was SO nice to have the whole family together (we missed my brother-in-law, NK, though) as we haven’t been all together in over a 1-1/2 years and there have been 3 more babies added to the family just this year.  It was a fairly relaxing day, especially after Christian received a Leapfrog Text N Learn and could instant message Scout, the virtual puppy, all about Nick Jr., associate producers, and Columbia TriStar Pictures.    Olivia received lots of dress-up clothes, so was busy trying those on for the rest of the day in-between playing with all of her cousins.  It was a really pleasant day with good food, lots of babies, and a chance to catch up with family (and a little caffeine ).

The eagerly awaited “Holiday Program” happened at our local PAC last night.  I have excitedly, yet hesitantly been waiting for its arrival.  I had NO idea how it was going to go.  I think that’s what has made the wait SO hard.

I prepped Christian with a social story for a couple of weeks.  Made arrangements to have a therapist meet us there to help him wait with his class.  They have had multiple rehearsals at school and a final dress rehearsal at the PAC yesterday morning…

…I was filled with anticipation all day as I waited to pick him up from school.  Did it go great?  Was he scared?  Did he flip out with the massive size of the PAC?  My mind raced and wondered.  I had to stop myself from running into the school to pick him up, but he.Did.GREAT!!!  He LOVED the stage!  He loved it SO much that while he was waiting for the other classes to finish their rehearsal, he wanted to go back up on stage and be the center of attention.    Wow!  Seriously?!?  I was beyond excited!!! 

We got to the PAC roughly 15-minutes before showtime.  CS, Christian’s therapist, met us in the lobby.  There were hundreds of people milling around.  Christian was excited to see CS, but wanted me to come with him, too.  Sigh.  He dropped to the ground.  CS picked him up and headed to the area where Christian was supposed to meet his class.  (As I prayed that he would be able to calm down.)

I had a hard time waiting for his group (the first ones) to come on stage.  I was nervous for him and had a hard time sitting still.  How could ten minutes feel like they were a couple of hours?!?  Finally, the house lights flicked.  Everyone scrambled for their seats.  The kindergarteners started filing out to the stage.  Oh, there’s Christian’s 3 friends. Oh, there’s Christian.  Oh, there he goes backstage…

…My heart sank.  He was scared.  I could tell.  Yet I continued to hold onto the hope (and prayed) that maybe once his class started singing, he would want to join in.  After each song, I waited and wondered if he would appear from behind the black curtains.  He didn’t.  At the end of the third song (with one more to go), I left the auditorium to go to the “meeting spot” and see if I could find my boy.

After a couple minutes of waiting, he walked in with his teacher, tears still streaming down his face.  She told me that anytime they had gotten to the doors that lead to the backstage area, he would sob, “No church!?!”  Oh, my boy.  He was even shaking a little bit.  I scooped him in a huge hug and found a table where we could sit down and he could eat his banana.  Phew.  He started calming down.

His teacher and I were talking about all of the things that we could have done to make this more successful for him… meeting her at school (where Christian is used to separating from me) and riding over with her; having me sit behind him on stage (to be his comfort); having CS be at rehearsal in the morning and working on separating then, too; etc. …who knows, though, whether or not these would have been effective either.

Oh well, maybe we’ll get it figured out before next year, right?!?

Also, next year, I think I’ll sneak into dress rehearsal in the morning and take video footage just in-case the nighttime performance in front of hundreds of people doesn’t work out again. 

On Thursday, Christian was graced with his very own “Big, Fancy Bed.”

I’ll set the stage for this post by telling you that Christian has not slept in his own room for about 2 months.  The first month, he wanted to sleep in bed with Brian.  (Brian & I had decided that if he’d actually sleep we didn’t really care where it happened.  Yes, we have been that sleep-deprived.)  So I had been sleeping on the couch or with Olivia in her bed.

After a month of this sleeping arrangement working pretty well, Christian decided that he wanted to sleep in Olivia’s bed.  Well, Olivia decided that she wanted to sleep with Daddy in “Mommy & Daddy’s bed.”  Fine.  So, musical beds we go, and everyone slept OK.  Christian woke up that first morning in Olivia’s full-sized bed and exclaimed, “Oh, my big, fancy bed!!!”  Too cute!  But Brian and I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, if we could find Christian his very own “big, fancy bed,” he would sleep in his room again.

Brian had mentioned this “big, fancy bed” story to his parents and they mentioned that they had a full-sized bed that they were considering getting rid of.  Hmm…really?!?  Excellent.   

The big change happened on Thursday.  Christian’s twin-bed moved downstairs to become a pseudo-daybed (which I was thinking could also serve as a bed for anyone who needs to be up with him in the middle of the night with his weird winter sleep habits).  The full-bed moved into Christian’s room.

Christian was a little upset when he first got home.  (Yeah, I didn’t know exactly when this was going to happen, so I hadn’t prepped him with a social story.  Oops!)  He was running around saying, “Sleep?  Sleep?” very nervously.  But then Grandma brought over some super comfy flannel Santa sheets, and Olivia convinced Christian to jump on his new bed a few times and then it was OK. 

Well, until bed, then he got a bit nervous again, so I slept in the “new bed”, too.  He seems pretty happy about the bed now.  (Especially since he found a spot on the footboard where he can balance his letter blocks.  ) 

So, with “Big, Fancy Beds” in both kids’ rooms now, I’m hoping that we can gravitate everyone back to their original sleeping places.  (One can hope, right?!?)

Brian and I received an extraordinarily super generous gift on Tuesday.  Money towards purchasing a snow thrower!  An answer to prayers!!!  A relief to me…

…I have been trying to shovel our driveway when I can.  I can’t shovel when I’m in charge of watching both kids as I cannot bring Christian out without having to chase him around.  Olivia gets a little bored after a 1/2-hour when no one is directly playing with her.  I’m not comfortable leaving them in the house unsupervised.  (I can hardly take a shower without coming out to find some sort of serious disagreement/pushing-shoving match.)  It’s been taking me well over an hour to shovel, closer to 1-1/2 hours, leaving me exhausted and hardly able to move for a couple of hours.  (I have the start of a slipped disk in my back and have had some carpal tunnel issues since both of my pregnancies.)  Still, it has to be done so that the bus and therapists can get in and out of our driveway.

The real kicker is that Brian is going in for hernia surgery at the end of the month.  That leaves me in charge of everything (and Christian is off of school yet, too).  I don’t mind being in charge of everything, but it scared me to have that responsibility and the snow removal, too. 

This gift of a snow thrower is just so awesome!  Really beyond words for me as “Thank You” seems so inadequate.  Brian and I went and picked one out last night and brought it home.  I’m ecstatic!  I have something new to learn now, too, as I have never operated a snow thrower before.    I know I will still have to find the time to be able to move the snow, but hopefully it will make it much faster and allow me to come back into the house without all of the body pain. 

Thank you for the gift!  Brian and I appreciate it SO incredibly much!!!